Every pregnancy matters. Every pregnancy is different. And every feeling, every emotion attached to it, is different too.
The excitement you feel the first time you see those two pink lines on a pregnancy test can feel almost ethereal. So can the completely different mix of anxiety, surprise and disbelief you feel when you see those same two lines five months postpartum.
The bittersweet memories of those moments somehow stay with us.
And time and again, you find yourself wanting to go back to those feelings.
For me, this became particularly real when I realised I was pregnant for the third time.
My elder one was five and my younger one was four. So, as any mother of children those ages can probably guess, I had to answer a LOT of questions.
“Mama, what were you before you became my mama?”
“How did you come to know I was there?”
“Did you tell Masi first or Dada first?”
And the questions were endless.
That’s when I realised I should have recorded these moments somewhere. Somewhere they could read them years down the line.
Because those questions honestly triggered something in me.
“What was I before I met you?”
Had motherhood changed me so much that my children might never know that version of me?
I started looking for a pregnancy journal online. I wanted somewhere to write all of this down.
But I wasn’t successful.
Most of the pregnancy journals I found were about the journey — the appointments, the trimesters, the milestones, the things you need to keep track of.
And those things are important.
But I wanted one about me.
And the ones I did find were often more than 50 pages.
Honestly, I don’t have that kind of time.
So I decided to make one.
I compiled a 30-page journal filled with prompts to help record those precious moments. I saved one for each of my children.
Because I want them to carry my story with them.
Human beings are dynamic. We change. We grow. We become different versions of ourselves as life moves forward.
And I want my children to know all those versions of me — including the woman I was when I carried them in my womb.
Not just their mother.
I want my kids to know that the mama they know now was once a go-getter and an adventurous soul.
Yes, she was nervous. She lacked self-confidence. She had her own self-doubts.
But she was also a leader.
She loved to chatter and could make new friends at the drop of a hat.
She was an average student who loved life. And, if I’m being completely honest, she still loves being a little girl at heart — and perhaps she always will.
That’s who she was.
And then pregnancy happened.
Things changed.
I remember telling my husband first. Then came the nervousness. The first hospital visit. All the feelings that came with it.
The first kick.
The first little turn in my tummy.
The tiny moments that seemed so ordinary while I was living them, but became memories I would later want to hold on to.
That’s what I tried to capture in my little keepsake, BEFORE I MEET YOU.
Not just the milestones.
The feelings behind them.
The woman behind the pregnancy.
The thoughts you have when you’re lying awake wondering what your baby will be like.
The hopes you have for them.
The things you want to say but don’t quite know how to put into words.
There is also that strange little urge to write a letter to your unborn child. I felt it too, so I made sure there was a page dedicated to it.
Because someday, that baby will be old enough to read it.
And then there are the moments that aren’t beautiful or poetic at all.
I still remember, as a first-time mother, the night I brought my baby home and she simply would not stop crying.
We tried.
Nothing worked.
Early the next morning, we took her back to the hospital, handed her over to the nurse and said,
“I can’t do it.”
Looking back now, I can smile at that moment.
But at the time, I was exhausted, overwhelmed and scared.
And that is a memory too.
Maybe even one of the most honest ones.
Because motherhood isn’t made up only of the beautiful moments we imagine we’ll want to remember.
Sometimes it’s the messy moments.
The funny moments.
The moments when you have absolutely no idea what you’re doing.
The moments you think you’ll forget.
Those are stories too.
And perhaps those are the very moments our children will want to know about one day.
Pregnancy Memories We Don’t Want to Lose
Pregnancy moves so quickly.
One day you’re staring at those two pink lines wondering how your life is about to change.
Then you’re at your first appointment.
Then you’re feeling those tiny movements.
Then you’re wondering how you are already preparing to meet the little person you’ve been carrying.
And somewhere in between all of this, there are hundreds of tiny moments that don’t seem important enough to write down.
But they are.
Who did you tell first?
What was their reaction?
What did you feel when you heard your baby’s heartbeat for the first time?
What was your strangest craving?
What were you most nervous about?
What was the best part of your pregnancy?
What did you imagine your baby would be like?
What changed in you when you realised you were going to become a mother?
These are the kinds of questions that can bring a memory rushing back.
And sometimes, that’s all we need.
A little prompt.
A quiet moment.
A pen.
And suddenly, something we thought we had forgotten comes back to us.
Why I Think Pregnancy Journals Matter
I don’t think every mother needs a pregnancy journal.
But I do think every mother has a story worth keeping.
Not because every pregnancy is perfect.
It isn’t.
Not because we will remember every detail.
We won’t.
But because there are parts of this experience that happen only once.
The first time you see those two pink lines.
The first time you hear that heartbeat.
The first tiny movement.
The first time you look at that scan and realise there really is a little person growing inside you.
The first time you talk to your baby when nobody else is around.
And even the moments when you’re scared, confused or wondering if you’re actually ready for this.
They all belong to the story.
And years later, when the baby has become a child, and then perhaps an adult, those little pieces of your story may mean more than you ever imagined.
That’s really why I created BEFORE I MEET YOU — A Mother’s Story of Waiting for Her Baby.
I didn’t want to create another pregnancy planner.
I wanted to create something that felt like a little piece of a mother’s story.
A place to record the memories, feelings, questions, hopes and little moments that make each pregnancy uniquely yours.
It’s 30 pages of thoughtful pregnancy journal prompts — enough to help you tell your story without turning it into another huge project on your already very long motherhood to-do list.
Because I know what it’s like to have very little time.
I know what it’s like to think, I’ll remember this.
And I know how quickly life moves.
So I saved one for each of my children.
Because I want them to know the woman who existed before they met me.
The woman who was still figuring herself out.
The woman who had dreams and fears and self-doubts.
The woman who laughed too loudly, made friends too easily, worried too much and loved life.
The woman who carried them.
The woman who waited for them.
Not just the mother.
But me.
And maybe, one day, when they read these pages, they’ll understand a little more about the woman who existed before she became their mama.
And perhaps that’s what a pregnancy journal can really be.
Not just a record of a pregnancy.
A record of a story that began before you ever met.
A little note from me
If you’re pregnant right now, don’t wait for the “perfect” moment to start recording your memories.
You don’t need an hour.
You don’t need beautiful handwriting.
You don’t need to remember everything.
Start with one memory.
One feeling.
One sentence.
Because the little things you think you’ll remember forever are sometimes the very things that quietly disappear with time.
Write them down.